Reluctant Bliss
by FallingInLove13
Summary: Riku and Dark fall for eachother, hard, but Riku is reluctant to begin a relationship that she knows will ultimately have to die. RikuDark. More added later...
1. Convince Me

Hello everyone! I'm having a bit of a writer's spree this week, and have written so many stories, so I'm trying to share as many of them with you as possible! This particular story is about a change in the relationship between Riku and Dark, from D.N.Angel. It's an interesting concept, and you might be a bit confused in the beginning, but I'll clear it up for you in later chapters! And please review! I don't mind if you hate my story, just as long as you tell me why. I want to learn from criticism. By the way, I don't own any of the characters, the story, or anything else I may use in these stories.

Chapter One: Convince Me

"Riku…?" he whispered from the shadows. I stopped in my tracks, but didn't turn to look in his direction- I couldn't. The pain in his eyes would be too unbearable.

" What?" I asked, shivering slightly. Snow fell from the sky, sticking to my hair.

" Please…" he started to beg, and I saw him take a step towards me from the corner of my eye. I flinched away automatically, then froze again. I wasn't used to have these feelings towards him. I caught a glimpse of his usually breathtaking face. Underneath his eyes were two charcoal-like shadows with hints or purple. His eyes were pained, as I'd expected, and there were tear stains running down his cheeks, which were pink.

" I can't, Dark…" I replied, feeling hot tears threatening to spill from my eyes. He looked so pathetically heartbroken- all because of me. Even his violet locks seemed to droop with his depression.

" But I need you, Riku. I need you!" he said, slightly infuriated. I remembered the night he'd first let those words slip, a night so long ago in my memory, yet so clear. Against my better judgment, I had allowed him to hide from the police in my room, him sitting against my wall, me lying in my bed, unable to fall asleep. We didn't talk much, we were just there, strangely basking in each other. We'd occasionally glance at one another, the look in his eyes when I caught him peering up at me made a lump come into my throat. His eyes weren't full of lust or a silent perverted thought- just adoration. So adoringly, in fact, that I couldn't believe I'd one considered him a disgusting pervert. He had caught me like a fish and reeled me to him. Now I understood why Risa was so addicted to him- he was addicting. So mysterious, so beautiful, so broken. I wasn't used to the attention, because Risa was usually the one guys couldn't take their eyes off. It felt so good to be with Dark, because somehow I knew that he wouldn't take his eyes off of me even if all the playboy bunnies showed up at once.

" What about Daisuke? What about Risa? We're stepping on so many people to make this work, and we both know that it's going to have to end." I said, my voice shaking. I still refused to looks at him, because I knew that if I did, I would lose my prerogative.

" I don't care, Riku. It doesn't have to end. I don't want it to. I don't want anyone else in this world but you." He said, and again I was in his arms, again he barged through the walls around my heart that I had once considered my best defense.

" This is so wrong, Dark. Daisuke must be hurting inside of you, and Risa will just die if she finds out- you know how dramatic she is!" I cried, and he nuzzled my hair, pulling me closer to him.

" But it is happening, Riku, and these feelings are real. Daisuke is accepting it, and Risa will accept it eventually, too." Dark said, stroking my surely frizzy hair.

" But that's just not fair to either of them, Dark! I love Daisuke, I really do- but it's not so much romantic anymore as it is brotherly. And Risa is my sister- I can't just go behind her back and be with the man she loves!" I exclaimed, my thought running a mile a minute.

" She'll get over it." Dark whispered.

" No, she won't." I argued, absolutely positive. Risa was damn good at holding grudges.

" She'll have to, Riku. I can't be without you." Dark said calmly, holding me at arm's length now, as if taking me in. I was so confused that I had no idea what emotions were playing across my features. He smiled weakly, and my resolution faltered once again, and I brought my lips to his in what was meant to be a light brush, but he pulled me close, crushing himself against me in a good way. When he finally let up, I felt dizzy and intoxicated- I wanted more. Quickly, a memory of my hatred for Dark flickered through my mind, but was instantly gone. I wouldn't, and couldn't, ever feel that emotion for him again.

" I don't want to hurt you, Riku." Dark said suddenly, peering into my eyes.

" Too late." I sighed, hungry for more kisses.

" We need to find a way to be together without Daisuke. It probably wouldn't hurt him as much then. I refuse to leave you." Dark said.

" Maybe leaving me would be best." It was silent as I pondered this. I was hurting so many people because of my selfishness. Not just strangers, either- the people closest to me.

" Don't even start." Dark grumbled. He grabbed my hand and pulled me behind him as he walked. I was only putty in his very capable hands.

" I will start, Dark. This is how I am. I'm not a selfish person! I can't just step all over everybody- not Daisuke or Risa or even you!" I exclaimed, my brain working again. I tore my hand from his easily, trying to ignore the startled and hurt look on his face.

" Daisuke and Risa this, Daisuke and Risa that. There is only you and me! You would never be able to hurt me if your with me- I'm happier than ever right now!" Dark replied, angry.

" Eventually you'll see that I'm not as perfect as you make me out to be." I said, grinding my teeth together to keep from both shouting and full-out bawling.

" I know you, Riku. Your short-tempered, easily embarrassed, insanely jealous, clumsy, and quite good at making assumptions and accusations. But that's why I love you, Riku. You're not anyone else- you're perfect as you are." Dark replied.

" But I'm not. I worry over my looks, my clothes, my body-" I started, but he put his hand over my mouth, his long fingers soft and warm against my cheeks.

" You're perfect." He stated, holding his hand firmly against my objection, "maybe not everyone else's definition of perfect, but to me you are." He smiled. He always knew exactly what to say.

" You really piss me off." I retorted as he removed his hand.

" I know," he replied, bringing me to him and his warmth, "but you love me anyways."

End of Chapter.

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	2. Torn

Well, heres the next chapter. I got a few good reviews, so thanks and hope you like this chapter! =D

Chapter Two: You Gotta Know…

"Rikuu!" Risa called, bounding into my room excitedly, without even knocking. I was only half-dressed, standing there in my red t-shirt and striped undies.

"What?" I demanded, "And how many times have I told you to knock! I'm half-naked, for Christ's sake!"

" Nothing I haven't seen before," Rise replied, her cheerfulness ebbing slightly because of my temper, "Anyways, I'm going to try and see Dark tonight! Come with me?"

I froze at the sound of his name rolling to easily from her tongue. Risa- the natural everything when it came to boys. Could I say yes? More importantly, could I say no and leave Risa alone with Dark? What would Dark tell her about us if I wasn't there to stop him? I didn't want Risa to find out that we were both in love with the same boy, but only I could have him.

"Um. Not this time, Risa." I decided, turning away from her and putting on my wool pajama bottoms.

"Aw, c'mon, Riku!" she whined, heading for my closet to pick out something a bit warmer for the 'trip'.

" I said no!" I snapped, sitting down in my desk chair. A few words crossed my mind when I looked back over at Risa, such as 'seductress'. Would she come on to Dark? More importantly, would he stop her?

"Fine! You don't have to get so angry." Risa replied, leaving the room and slamming the door behind her. I ran to my dresser and pulled out a pair of blue jeans, then slipped into my faux fur boots. I waited until I heard Risa announce she was leaving. I ran outside after her and got on my bike. The snow had melted, but the ground was still sloshy and disgusting. I followed that car at a careful distance, so there was no chance of Risa spotting me. It took about five minutes to get where Risa was meeting Dark. I brought the bike to a silent stop and hid behind a nearby bush, waiting impatiently.

After about a half hour, Risa headed for the car, looking put-down. That when I saw him land swiftly on the ground, looking exactly like a dark-haired angel before his wings disappeared into thin air.

Rise turned away, her intention obviously one last sweep of the area for a sign of Dark. I heard her breath catch as he eyes fixed on him. I hated the way she looked at him, like he was the only thing in her world. That's how I was supposed to look at him, not her.

"Dark.." she breathed before running to him, arms open and prepared for an embrace. Dark held up one hand to stop her, and she hesitantly obliged.

" We need to talk." Dark said, flinching away from her when she reached for her hand.

" About what?" Risa asked, her lower lip jutting out in a way most guys found irresistible. "About us?" She was hopeful.

" There is no 'us'!" Dark snapped, and I felt my stomach churn. Risa was about to get hurt all because of me. She'd come home, leaning on me to comfort her, unknowing that I was the one that had caused her heartbreak.

" Then why are you here?" Risa snapped right back. She didn't have as much of a temper as me, but that didn't mean she completely lacked one.

" I just wanted to tell you that there never was- and never will be- an us. I'm in love with someone else." Dark said quietly.

" Then why the hell do you keep leading me on like this! I would have known you didn't like me if you never came!" Risa replied. I'd never seen her so angry.

" Because…" Dark began, but was cut off.

" Because you felt sorry for me, right? 'Oh, poor, pathetic Risa, waiting for someone who's never gonna show up! Lets go mess with her head again!'" Risa screamed, tears running freely down her cheeks. I chuckled quietly, but saw Darks eyes shift in my direction for half a second.

" Yes, that's it exactly." Dark surrendered, putting his hands up mockingly.

" You're a JERK!" Risa cried, turning away and walking to the car.

Everything was quiet, and I was silently praying that Dark hadn't heard me, that he wasn't going to call me out. But, of course, as soon as Risa was out of site, he was right behind me.

"What are you doing here?" he demanded, helping me to stand up. I realized I was shivering.

"Risa…asked me to come." I replied, trying to sound honest.

"Oh, sure. That's why she left without you, right?" Dark snorted, then pulled me close. "Your cold. Your freezing!"

"I'm fine." I assured him, but I really was cold.

"I know why you're here." Dark whispered into my ear, "you didn't want Risa to be alone with me. You wanted to make sure I'm faithful, which I assure you I am. You're the only one I want, so don't be so mistrusting."

"I-" I began, but Dark stopped me.

"I know you, Riku. I know how your mind works, so don't try to deny it." Dark laughed, kissing me tenderly on the forehead.

'How odd,' I thought, 'that a few months ago Dark's touch repulsed me, but now I cant seem to get enough of it.'

" Riku." Dark said,trying to capture back my attention. I looked straight into his eyes.

"What?" I demanded, putting on my best scowl face. I was still uncomfortable with the idea of betraying the two people that meant the most to me in the world for the person I loved. It just seemed wrong to me, absolutely filthy of me.

"I love you more than anything or anyone else in the world. Even myself, and you know how incredibly self-centered I am." Dark said, leaning in to kiss me.

" Dark.." I said, then pushed him away, feeling awful.

"I have to go!" I exclaimed, grabbing my bicycle and leaving quickly, my insides being torn apart bit by bit. I knew Risa was home, and I knew she would be wondering where I was. How could I explain it to her? Should I just tell her the truth, of cover up with another lie that will only hurt her in the end?

I have no idea anymore.

End of chapter two, hope you liked it. 


	3. Falling to Pieces

When I got home, Risa was sitting on the front doorstep. It had started raining, and she was shivering slightly. I put my bike away, and walked to where she was waiting.

"Hey." I said lamely, sitting down next to her. She wasn't crying anymore, but her eyes were rimmed with red, and she was sniffling, "you okay?"

I reached out to put my arm around her, knowing in my mind that this was all my fault, and she shied away from my touch. "No, RIku, I'm not okay. I love Dark, and he loves someone else, can you even understand how that feels? My heart is splitting into two, and there's nothing I can do about it.

"I'm sorry-"

"Riku, just stop. Do you think I'm stupid? I'm not. I'm not as stupid as everyone makes me out to be. Where were you? You said you weren't going to come with me, yet you changed out of your pajamas and rode somewhere on your bike? You followed me, didn't you? I've been sitting here, waiting for you to come home, going through so many different scenarios of why you would be gone. It's you, isn't it?" Risa was looking away from me, her shoulders hunched, her hands gripping her thighs.

"I…I don't know what to say." I said, "it wasn't always like this. I hated him, you know that. I don't know why my feelings suddenly changed. I didn't want to hurt you. That was what I was afraid of, hurting you."

"Well, Riku, it's a little late for that, isn't it? The fact that you betrayed me like this is what hurts more than anything, more than being rejected. You're my twin, for goodness sake! And what about Daisuke, have you even thought about that?" she turned to look at me, pure fire in her brown eyes.

"Of course I have! He already knows. He's okay. I'm sorry, Risa. You two are the people I never wanted to hurt, ever. But here I am, letting you both down, hurting both of you, all for nothing.."

All of a sudden, a sharp pain veered through my cheek. Risa had slapped me. She had actually slapped me. I didn't know how to handle that, how to respond.

"FOR NOTHING? Riku, obviously it wasn't over nothing. I know you- you wouldn't blindly hurt those who you care about for nothing. Obviously, this is something. Honestly, I have no respect for you, and I wish you were never born!" she screamed, getting up and storming into the house.

I just sat there in shock, and all of a sudden I was crying, uncontrollably. I couldn't stop, I didn't even know how long I was out there for before I felt a warm arm around me.

"You always run away from me," his velvet voice said in my ear.

"Please leave me alone. I hate myself." I whispered. I realized the rain had stopped, but I couldn't have said when that had happened.

"Hate yourself for what? For actually standing up for something you want?" Dark asked, knowing my one weakness- always giving and giving and never expecting anything in return.

I thought for a minute, "no, for falling in love with you. This is all my fault. Over time, maybe you would have fallen in love with Risa. That would have been better than this."

"Riku," he said, lifting my chin so my eyes were level with his, "I would have never fallen in love with Risa. It's always been you. To quote Shakespeare, 'when I saw you, I fell in love, and you smiled because you knew'. This isn't some game to me, Riku. With however much time I have left in this world, I only want to make you as happy as you've made me. "

I didn't know what to say to that, so I just leaned into his arm and let him comfort me in silence as I moped about my life that I had single-handedly torn to pieces.

OK guys, I haven't written in a really long time…obviously. I'm not sure if anyone still reads there, but let me know what you think, and if you'd like me to continue. If I don't get any comments I'll stop writing this story (:


	4. Warmth

The next morning, I woke up in my room, with no memory of how I had gotten there. There was a note on my dresser from Dark, written that he would see me later. My head was completely groggy, and as soon as I heard Risa's voice talking to my mom in the kitchen, my heart sank.

"Riku did that?" I heard my mom's voice, followed by a gasp of disbelief.

"Yeah, can you believe it? She probably has a cold now, so you might need to go check on her. It was raining pretty hard." Risa said, leaving me dazed and confused. I heard footsteps coming towards my room, and the creak of my door.

"Riku, honey? Are you feeling okay? Risa says you were outside in the rain and that you might have gotten sick, because you were worried about her." My mom said sweetly.

Risa absolutely knew what she was doing. What I pride myself most in is my honesty, and she was making it so I felt obligated to tell my mother the truth, seeing the look on her face right when she finds out. But Dark was right, everything couldn't be about Risa. I sat up, only to realize that I really didn't feel good at all, and collapsed back down on the bed. Risa was right- a lucky guess.

"Oh, baby. It's okay, stay in bed. I'm going to get the thermometer and get you a damp towel to put on your head. You look awful!" she exclaimed, scurrying out.

"Wow, wasn't expecting you to actually be sick." Risa remarked, waltzing into my room and sitting at the foot of my bed.

"Risa, what do you want?" I grumbled, not ready to deal with it all.

"I want to make your life as miserable as you made mine last night. It's all your fault, and you're never going to forget that." She said, flipping her hair behind her shoulder. I rolled my eyes. Even with her serious voice, I didn't find her threatening at all.

"Okay, Riku, heres everything you need!" my mom burst into the room in full nurse mode, "and there is soup on the stove!"

Risa left with a final glare in my direction and stormed into her room, obviously annoyed with all the attention my mother was giving me. Her plan had backfired, and she wasn't prepared for that situation. She was probably going to go plot with her stuffed bunny.

That night, when my fever had gone down, I locked my door and Dark came into my room.

"Hey," he said, taking one look at me, "not feeling too hot, are we?"

"No, I caught a cold from being in the rain last night I think." I replied, sitting up in my bed.

"I'm sorry."

"Don't be, it's not your fault." I chided him.

"But it Is my fault. I've been thinking about it all day, worried sick about you. I'm being way too selfish, and not considering everything. You can live your life without me if you want, I deserve-"

I had grabbed him and pulled him close, kissing him like we'd never kissed before, pulling him close to me, weaving my fingers through his soft, violet hair. He wrapped me up in his embrace, kissing me back hard, pushing his way into my mouth with his tongue. I pulled away first, looking up at him. He brought his forehead to mine and smiled so gently my heart could have broken.

"I love you, Dark. And I'm ready to fight for this. Risa's feelings are not my problem, like they always have been. I want to be happy, and you make me happy. I want to be with you, more than anything in the world." I told him, fingering circles on the inside of his arms. He closed his eyes.

"I love when you do that," he said, referring to his arms, "and I love you, too. I'm so happy right now to just be able to be here, with you. You don't even know."

I laid down, and scooted over to make room for him on the bed. "Stay with me tonight? Please?"

He smirked, sliding in next to me, positioning himself so my head could lay comfortably on his chest, and allowed for his arms to be around me at the same time. "For you, anything."

"Is Daisuke okay with this?" I asked, suddenly very self-concious.

"He's gone to sleep, so it's okay. Besides, if he can do what he wants, I should be able to do what I want." He answered, kissing my forehead.

"Okay." A million questions running through my mind about the whole situation. What if Dark disappeared completely one day? That would kill me. But at least he was here, now.

I fell asleep, in this calm before the storm, listening to the heartbeat of the man I love, ready for anything that was going to come our way.


End file.
